Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
