i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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