and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
