doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
