We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need to calm my uterus...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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