awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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