His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
