there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
