Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
