Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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