That's intense
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
