hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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