no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
