I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
