I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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