So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
