wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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