That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
