either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
