Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
