That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
