My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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