I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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