this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize