everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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