I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
