YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
