I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
