i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize