Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
