fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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