don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
