I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
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Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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