Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
