a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
