Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
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Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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