You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
