I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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