Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
