Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
