I faked an abortion last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
