Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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