Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
