and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
