This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
