After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
