you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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