I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Found the puke drawer
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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