roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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