apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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