I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
