Cold hands, warm shart.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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