So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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