Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Text me some of your sweat
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
