who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
