No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
