FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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