think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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